Standing on the edge of a cliff. Ready to jump into the sea below. A mix of fear, adrenaline, anxiety, and excitement. Cliff Jumping: it is fun, it is a rush but there is always the brief moment of hesitation before you jump. That quiet and personal moment where you prepare yourself, is it worth it, there is risk, should I do it?
During different seasons as a missionary I find myself back on the edge of the cliff. God is asking me to jump, unhindered, into whatever He is calling me to, but I find myself dwelling in the anxiety, the stress, and the what ifs rather than dwelling in Him, in faith. If I fully focused on God’s character all the time, there would be no hesitation, and I would have already jumped. But I am so very human and often I forget the character of God. Sometimes it takes me a while to jump.
I break down, I want to back away from the cliff, I start to step away and then I remember: the beauty and the faithfulness of God, the miracles I've seen, the people's lives I've seen touched by God, the moments I’ve witnessed a child of God come to know Him as Father, all the adventures I've had with God all over the world. I remember when I only had 70$ in my bank account and God asked me to give $60 away to another missionary. Later that day I got a babysitting job that would pay me exactly $60. I remember how God fully provided for me to go to the university of my dreams, without taking out any student loans, and how I cherish that gift of an amazing education and community.
As a child I never worried about whether my parents would feed me, or give me a roof over my head, or take care of me when I was sick. I simply trusted, and they took care of everything. That is how God wants us to be with Him, to be expectant for Him to fully take care of us. He is a good Father and you can trust in a good father.
MT. HUASHAN, CHINA: IS KNOWN AS ONE OF THE MOST TERRIFYING AND DANGEROUS HIKES IN THE WORLD. A PLANK TRAIL OF WOODEN PLATFORMS, BOLTED TO THE MOUNTAINSIDE, THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR, HIKERS INCH ALONG THESE PLATFORMS AND TAKE IN THE THRILLING BEAUTY OF THE SURROUNDING AREAS. IT IS RUMORED THAT PEOPLE FALLING TO THEIR DEATHS ON THIS TRAIL IS NOT AN UNCOMMON OCCURRENCE. SCARY RIGHT?
One day as I was praying about the things I am currently wrestling through, praying through the list of things that are holding me back- God gave me Isaiah 42:16.
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42: 16
He then reminded me of the Mt. Huashan hike: “I want to take you to the heights. Complete trust. Would you trust me to lead you on this mountain hike if you were physically blind? Do you trust me to lead you and not let you fall? I have you. Trust, that is where I am taking you.”
I’m not fully there yet, but I am getting there. I may fall back and hesitate sometimes, but I am always reminded of God’s faithfulness. This one thing I do know, God is trustworthy.
Tiffany Lambert, works full time with YWAM San Diego/Baja in the area of Discipleship Training Schools and Communications. As a Lover of God and travel she has explored over 34 different nations and counting. She is passionate about seeing lives transformed by Jesus, photography, great music and good coffee.