Today marks 32 days until the final deadline for homework, the final day of sitting in front of a computer for hours on end, the final page in my Bible being marked up by crayons- 33 days until the final day of my 9-month journey through the Bible with the Chronological School of Biblical Studies.
It’s hard to put into words all that I have learned, as it is hard to process within the cycle of moving onto the next book right after finishing. It’s when I get talking to people that I feel the passion inside of me rise and I realize that the words coming out of my mouth are finally coming from a place of understanding (to some degree). It’s when I share my faith with people that I see how much God has taught me in this school and it gets me pumped up to start a life driven by sharing the love of God with people!
Before coming to YWAM San Diego/Baja, I knew that God was real from experience. I told people about Jesus because it was my duty as a Christian. I was eager to share because I had tasted and seen the Lord is good, and it made me want to share it with others. Even in my misunderstanding and lack of knowledge, God used me and still would regardless of if I chose to do this school or not. Although I have a better understanding than I did 8 months ago, I now know more than ever that I am just scratching the surface. The fullness of His Glory simply cannot be revealed within a limited time or circumstance. So, I suppose I have learned that I just need to learn more, that in this life there will never be a “final day” of learning about God through his word. I will always be sitting at the desk with Jesus teaching me, and that excites me!
I never expected to like it this much but I love being a student. It’s true, I love sitting down for hours doing homework, if it means soaking in the presence of God with each word that he has spoken since the beginning. I love spending most of my time reading, if it means I am learning about God’s story of His creation. I love diving deep into history each week, if it makes God’s word truly come alive. I love being deeply challenged by my preconceived notions, if it means that God’s truth is being revealed.
A popular phrase I’ve heard in YWAM is “being ruined for the ordinary” and I can definitely say that this phrase is true for my life. I have been ruined for the ordinary. I can’t settle for the ordinary skimming through scriptures as if I am reading the daily newspaper, for being comfortable in my ignorance to the questions that arise while reading the Bible, for reading a daily bible verse to be fed for the day, for the avoidance to the Old testament (or the Bible entirely) or for the lack of drive to seek understanding. I can’t settle anymore for these things that used to be normal for me. I can’t settle with having these 9 months be the extent of my studies. I hope to spend the rest of my life with the same determination to study the Bible as I have during this school because the words in this book are so real, true and tangible.
God is good. I say that not because someone else told me so or just because of something he has done in my life, because even that is so temporary. God’s goodness is more precious than the Garden, deeper than the flood, beyond the promise to Abraham. It goes farther than the borders of Israel, and it is immeasurably displayed at the cross. God has been unbelievably good and faithful to me personally but I have seen such an impact from understanding the story of God through the big picture of the Bible. It has been such a beautiful and humbling experience to see his love from the very beginning consistently pursue man in all his wickedness. Love is not at all what I had one perceived it is. Reading the Bible is where one can truly discover genuine truth, which is the genuine love of God.